It has been quite the year of going inward and being IN the experience of transition. I have been abundantly grateful for all of the lessons and grief that have accompanied this year and there is one recent lesson that I would love to share with you.
The word that I chose to work with for 2016 was receive. The lessons came and went in subtle ways throughout the year but as the year had been coming to a close there was still more to learn and the lessons came at me hard.
Sometimes we think we have re-written an old belief or a story when in actuality we have only shifted part of it. I am not one to receive well or to ask for help but I knew that needed to change, so I convinced myself that receiving and asking for help was important and a beautiful practice. That part worked but what I didn’t do was address my underlying story of WHY I had trouble receiving and asking for help and that led me to months of playing the part of the damsel in distress and not honoring my power.
I asked the universe to help me master receiving and it obliged with lessons and opportunities that forced me to receive help. I knew that I had to accept help but because I didn’t transmute this story I made myself small and weak, walking around with a woe is me attitude. When I look at the language that I used and the stories that I told to express myself it was that of a damsel in distress 100%. Looking back, I can see that I went to great lengths to prove this story true by lying to myself and then those that I loved. Of course, this all came from an unconscious place that I can only see now looking back. I knew something was off with me and that I needed to come back into alignment somehow but it took a dear sister calling me out and when she did it blew my mind in the most beautiful way.
I began to ask myself thoughtful questions and thankfully I had dug in with myself and happened to have a call with my coach the next day. As a coach, I believe that it is highly important to live the lessons and to have a coach guiding me as I process my own lessons. She knows how I work so when I shared my processing from the night before she was able to help me go deeper and really shed this archetype that I had clung to for the past few months. Let me tell you, it felt like I had lost 20 pounds. I felt brand new and refreshed. We cleared the old story and I stepped into reverence. AHHH that word feels so delicious.
I love how my lessons around receiving brought me to my next word, reverence, to feel into for 2017!