Making Commitment feel less icky...

A year ago I was teaching dance, coaching, and working a full time corporate job.  I made the leap and quit corporate to take on coaching full time and teach more.  Before my journey to full time coaching, I took 3 months to travel and fully embrace freedom.  I had such an amazing time flowing through my day with no hard commitments.  It was fabulous until I missed calls and didn’t show up for the people that I love and had committed my time to.  That really hit me because one of my stories is that people don’t show up for me.  I was appalled at myself for dropping the ball so easily.  This was difficult to navigate because with my newfound freedom, I saw commitment as a prison but I also had this deep desire to show up… I just wanted to show up from a place of flow and ease rather than obligation.

Thankfully, my last stop for the summer was in Asheville for a retreat as part of the 12-month mentorship program that I am in.  There my coach and the other women attending helped me shift this (THANK YOU Sisterhood!!) My mentor offered me the word devotion and asked me how it felt.  Transmuting commitment to devotion changed everything for me.  I am a person that desires deep and meaningful connection, a person who desires for there to be meaning and ideally love behind all actions.  So devotion is the perfect word for me to access.  To me the difference is that commitment comes from a place of obligation and devotion comes from a place of love.  Obligation feels icky to me and often leads to resentment but now I am able to fully show up grateful and full of love.

I am really good at holding space and listening but something I need to work on is using my voice and awakening it.  One of the ways that I am working on this is to periscope (@avadinolfi) for 50 days.

This terrifies me and I have a lot of resistance… It also feels like a commitment sometimes but it is not.  Rather, it is an action step of how I am showing my devotion to awakening my voice.  I am deeply devoted to this and am therefore able to honor this action step. 

Devotion allows me to still live through freedom and flow while also allowing me deep connection and a calling to show up.

 

Is there a word or a belief that is making you feel trapped?

How can you transmute it?

 

h-h <3 Ava

Ava AdinolfiComment